Re-Humanizing the Human Experience

Mar 19

I wasn’t sure how to react to the fatal hate crimes that occurred just this week against the #AAPI community.

The first thing I did was text my Lola.

We chatted about her upcoming birthday. She feels blessed to have a “happy and supportive” family as she approaches 81 years, even if we can’t physically be together.

The conversation was so human. For a moment, I forgot everything.

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But then the thoughts came rushing back.

I wondered if my Lola knew about the Asian women slain in Atlanta. Would she be safer if she knew? Safer if she didn’t?

I wondered if my Lolo would feel safe walking down the street alone if he were still alive.

I wondered if my dad had ever suffered through a discriminatory experience and kept it to himself to protect me.

I wondered how often my Titas and Ates smiled through the discomfort of stranger’s often misogynistic and hyper-sexualized comments about Asian women.

I wondered how these people I know and love could ever be viewed as less than the beautiful, kind humans that they are.

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I wondered how people reached a point of viewing others as unworthy of life. And most disturbingly, how people convinced themselves that they should be the ones to rob someone else’s life.

To do so must require constant dehumanization of an individual or an entire group. Constant conviction that not all human lives are equal. Constant reminder to oneself of a self-defined entitlement over the fate of other human lives.

Instead of framing this piece around undeserving white supremacists, misogynists, racists, and terrorists, I want to focus on something I personally need in order to process this and release myself from my current state of helplessness: how to re-humanize our human-to-human interactions.

To care deeply about humans as if they were close friends or family might be the most rebellious act against bigotry and ignorance. The fight for justice, equity, and inclusion must always start with empathy and support, otherwise it’s difficult to feel inclined to get involved.

“It’s not MY problem.”

Stop with that, please. That privilege to ignore a hurting, frustrated, exhausted community is what perpetuates humankind into self-destruction. It’s the silence, and therefore complicity, with acts of injustice that serve as the very foundation that allows them to happen in the first place.

So, let’s get started.

The Road to Re-Humanization

Every person you have met, have yet to meet, or never will get the chance to meet is capable of the things that sum up our most human moments: laughter, thought, curiosity, emotion, birthdays, family, empathy, love.

Our upbringing, environment, community, and many other factors influence how much we care about or how we use these human things. But from my experiences and observations, the closer in-tune we are with that list, the better we can be with

Self-awareness
Our relationships with others
Prioritization of what’s important to you
Staying true to our personal values and mission
Cherishing the human moments whenever they happen
Our own fulfillment in life

How this Looks with Friends

You can find details of how this looks with friends in Part 2 (coming soon).

To re-humanize your interactions with friends, I challenge you to consider

Boundaries & expectations.
Their Love Languages (yes, love languages aren’t just for couples).
How much they owe you (hint: they don’t).
Why friends get flakey when they do.
When you feel like your friends hate you (and what in your life has caused you to believe this of others).

How this Looks with Family

You can find details of how this looks with family in Part 3 (coming soon).

To re-humanize your interactions with family, I challenge you to consider

Boundaries & expectations.
When you wonder if you’d be friends if you weren’t family.
What keeps your family together. What’s the glue?
When you feel bad for straying away.

How this Looks with Co-Workers

You can find details of how this looks with co-workers in Part 4 (coming soon).

To re-humanize your interactions with co-workers, I challenge you to consider

Boundaries & expectations.
They’re going through something (let’s just assume this one moving forward).
The way they process or react to global events or some loss.
Humanizing virtual work spaces.

How this Looks with Yourself

You can find details of how this looks with yourself in Part 5 (coming soon).

To re-humanize your interactions with yourself, I challenge you to consider

Your mission and values.
What you do during breaks.
The fairness of what you expect of others.
Why you want the things you don’t have.
How much time you spend doing the things you love or with the people you love.

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At the End of the Day

It all starts with empathizing with each other’s experiences to not only better understand others’ lived experiences, but also your own and your relationship with the world.

For details of re-humanizing efforts with the world around you and yourself, please read:

Re-Humanizing the Human Experience (Part 2): How this Looks With Your Friends — coming soon
Re-Humanizing the Human Experience (Part 3): How this Looks With Your Family — coming soon
Re-Humanizing the Human Experience (Part 4): How this Looks With Your Co-Workers— coming soon
Re-Humanizing the Human Experience (Part 5): How this Looks With Yourself— coming soon

In support of the #AAPI community, please check out these resources:

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